Recycling or Not?

Some years ago I was given a paper log maker as a gift. It was quite innovative at the time from Friends of the Earth, but I'm sure you're all familiar with them now as they're much more widely available. I tried making a few logs, but it didn't really seem worth it and I also had qualms about how green it was versus recycling paper to make new paper products. Then last year I heard articles on the news where it had been discovered that an awful lot of paper that had been collected in this country for recycling, had been found abroad, dumped, supposedly 'waiting' to be recycled. Now, however green it is to recycle paper, it is much less so if it has to be transported abroad to do so. This coincided with my eldest wanting to earn some money to put credit on her beloved mobile, so we set about collecting newspapers and magazines. We soon had an old dustbin full of them, so in the summer my eldest daughter set about separating and scrunching the newspapers, putting them back in the dustbin and adding water to soak (nb- don't do what we did & fill the bin completely- the paper expands and will push off the lid and spread all over the place; fill it half to two thirds full). Two days later, she set about turning them into 'logs' using the machine - you can see an example of these here. We had too much paper, so had to do it in two sessions, but it really didn't take very long. We left them in a ventilated area of the garden covered with polythene until they had started to dry when we brought them inside our lean-to to finish off. They do take weeks to dry out thoroughly - would've been better if we'd had a decent summer, but when completely dry are rock hard:

We made about 50 of these and each one burns for up to 2 hours. I use them in conjunction with wood when the fire's already well established and they're really helping to make our log supplies go further. Here it is in action:

Next year, we need to make at least twice as many though, we're down to our last couple now and it's so COLD.

To cheer everyone up, here's a dozen funnies out of the mouth of babes:

1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad......'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad..'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: 'The big sissy.'

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said: 'Holy S#@%! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, 'If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'

12. Thea and Barnaby sitting at the table, Mum puts the last two cakes in front of them, one much bigger than the other. They both want the biggest one and start arguing over it. Grandpa hears this and says to them both  "What would Jesus do?"
Barnaby says unhappily, "He'd take the smallest one" Thea thinks for a moment and says to Barnaby "You be Jesus!" and helps herself to the largest cake.